Thinking about dating a divorced dad. Any advice?

He had his daughter when he was young and she recently turned 18. His daughter is the #1 priority in his life, and I understand - he's a great dad %26amp; is responsible.





We've expressed that we've both thought about what'd happen if we started dating %26amp; there is mutual interest, but he's in the tail-end of the process of getting his life back in order (he got divorced ~5 yrs ago). He says that he's almost paid off his debts and once that happens, we'll give dating a go. BTW, I live in a state where things are subject to community property (50/50), which bites.





I've never been married and never dated a divorced guy before, but I can imagine it's more frustrating than he says it is with the alimony payments, etc. He always wants to put himself in the best light with me and never seems bitter or resentful, but that also means that I'm kind of left in the dark w/ how hard divorce can be.





I just want to know the reality of the situation so I can move on if necessary rather than wait.Thinking about dating a divorced dad. Any advice?
If you are interested in him and he is a free man, take it easy and be honest about things when they happen and you don't understand them.





The fact you have never been married is going to make it harder for you to understand some things about his past. And it won't be easy, because if he was hurt and is in debt, chances are he is still a bit resentful and bitter, so you will be judged by things other women did to him.





I guess you'll have to talk a lot about things as they happen.


Some people will tell you to stay away from this man because of his baggage; but that's for you to decide.





If at some point you feel you cannot handle things that are a reality in his life - like his ex and his teenage daughter- then be honest and call it quits. Good luck!Thinking about dating a divorced dad. Any advice?
You'll know after you meet the daughter what you are in for.
I don't think you are understanding or maybe taking it all wrong.


There is allot that he is telling you, 1) he has learned allot from his divorce. 2) He is very responsible man. 3) He is only giving you heads up on the fact that he doesn't want to hurt anybody especially you.


There is not allot men out there like this. I think this sounds like that you are wanting some thing that is not yours to take. If you are wanting fall in love with this guy then you should stand up beside him and prove to him that you are the one that he needs to fall in love with and and still love his daughter.


Right now this guy has allot of doubt to dating women, but you have 1 foot in the door so don't close it.
When I was single again, These are the things that eliminated a guy from a date.


1. Kids he was still responsible for


2. Still ';rather married';. I already knew that for the first several years, the women a guy dated were ';bridges'; out of the marriage, and no one he would end up with. I eliminated those guys immediately... looks like he ';unqualifies'; in my list for the first two.


3. Non smoker


4. Have a job he likes


5. No big depression problems or financial problems


6. At least as much education as I had


7. Good sense of humor and adventure... (I liked to travel.)


8. Hobbies he likes to do without me





try your own list.
Flee. His daughter is #1 in his life which means you will ALWAYS come second. Find someone who is more open-minded with his priorities..
Ok so you've never been married and you want to date a guy that's got a boat load of baggage from his previous marriage? Why in the world would you do that? I'll tell ya you will never take priority over his daughter, that's good and it's bad. I say move on and find yourself someone like you, single never been married, healthy, no baggage, etc...
I'd avoid this man. He was married long enough to have an 18 year old daughter...that's a long time. The fact that you (and maybe he) think it's unfair that he split the proceeds of the marriage 50/50 is a red flag. OF COURSE, they should split everything 50/50. They were married and they had a legal partnership. Most states give that or more. (In some states the injured spouse gets 60 percent). If he has to pay her alimony it's because she obviously didn't build up a career because THEY decided she should stay home and raise the child mostly. That was their agreement. Don't date this man. You are not thinking clearly and you will resent any money he spends on his daughter, too.
If it is just a date, why not??





However, if you are exposing yourself to the possibility of getting into a permanent relationship such as marriage, it is a gamble that u need to be aware of.





Marriage is never a guarantee. Everyone knows that. He may be the perfect one for you now but there is a possibility that he may not be in future.





Enjoy every moment you have with him as it goes along. Only time will tell if he is the one for you or not. Good luck!!
If he was ready to date and have a relationship, he wouldn't be so worried about the debts from a marriage that ended 5 years ago. Also, the ';child'; is 18 and an adult.





So, I think he is using these things as an excuse. He is not ready and you should not wait around.
I've been divorced for 5 years and have dated many divorced Dads. They are usually a bit more cautious yet sometimes are more motivated to be better the next time around, as am I. If he wasn't a dedicated Dad, then that would be a huge red flag. It is a good sign that he can be loyal and committed.