Complicated situation with girl i dated...need help and advice.? yes its long ?
we dated for acouple of months after her and her boyfriend broke up but in the end she decided to go back to him. I was going to stop talking to her all together but she still called me and I still wanted to talk. I told her i feel like were together and she said the same thing. we seriously do this all the time where we would stop talking and it happen 3 times this last month. I really do like her and i think i have fallin for her but she recently did something to me that really turned me off and said things that gave me red flags. She basically ditched me on my bday and went to meet up with boyfriend and told me she would come back or at least call me back to tell me if she can come. She never returned my call that night and went to sleep god knows where she claims her house but w/e and had class in the morning but never called me the next day to apologize and i proceeded to text her the next day saying basically wow an amazed what she did to me. and proceeded to go tell her to go F her self and only cares about herself. We got into an arguement and said to me you gave me a red flag when you told me that and has to really think ';about us';. So i got scared when she said that and i thought i should just end it right there and tell her to stop talking for now to me. She said i was ****** up and that we couldnt make our relationship work if we were ever in one. That relationships you dont run away from problems you try to make it work... I basically laughed at this because i said to her what relationship? we were never in one so how can i run away to our problems. You cant have two different people that it does not work that way. she said i was abandoning her and told her we can only become friends. She then texted me and said to me oh how she could not believe how i am doing this today and i havent return her text message at all today. I really want to be with her and i want her as my friend atleast but i cant just act and pretend we have something when we offically dont. ... she continues to cal and text me and i feel like responding i cant do this anymore. She has me as her back up and dosent want to break up with her boyfreind and yet tell me she loves me but when in fact i know she loves the other guy too. SHe tells me i cant be with other girls because she would not talk to me. And i think thats messed up that we still could not talk adn be friends if that was to happen. There was also another thing that bother me she said that if they ever broke up and she was with me that her boyfriend would still call her. THey known each other for 3 years while I known her for almost 6 months. I dont know what to do i want to be with her but i cant put myself through this anymore because i feel like im going insane and i cant function or do school work im in college btw and hang out with my friends. Personally i dont want her out of my life because i care about her that much but i cant wait around for her forever and she does not watn to be wtih me fully by leaving her boyfriend for me. So many problems. Yes she has cheated on him with me if your wondering. I know its wrong but i really do love her and i want to be with her. So finally i decided to call her and tel her today that we should just both move on but she did not pick up and then she asked why i called in text message and i just told her that and she was like im tired of me always doing this and she is not playng tis back and forth **** with me. (she is always the one that chases me and i fall back into it) and she see's how it is now. and told me good bye. I feel bad i dont know i jsut feel like everything i did was my fault. Oh man i miss her. I dont know anymore i wish i was with her but she never wanted to leave him for me. Damn.Complicated situation with girl i dated...need help and advice.? yes its long ?
Hey there. Its obvious your still quite young and I think thats just way too much information. Although I understand your hurting and confused.
It sounds a little like she's playing with you. You need to stand up for yourself and not allow someone to bounce you around like a toy. I know it is hard to let go of someone that you have such strong feelings for, but she isn't treating you right. The right woman for you wouldn't treat you so bad. It may be hard to believe that you could ever feel so strongly for someone else, but trust me you will. Cut your ties with this girl. Don't look back, move on and you will be better off. You never know, maybe this girl will realize the mistake she made with you and start respecting you. At that point you might be able to have a real relationship with her. Until then, you should concentrate on your number one first. Thats you.Complicated situation with girl i dated...need help and advice.? yes its long ?
too long! as u said you are her back up , . . Yes you are man. . . Get a life . . . .be a man n be a lion! crying for a girl who using you? if i tell you what, your ego n respect is better for you than ths girl.
Let it go, you said she went back to her old boyfriend and then all this happened. Just let it go and find someone else that you can communicate with better. God Bless :)
Sounds like you have a problem on your hands mister.
Simple, just change your number and don't call ';her.'; We make things complicated that really aren't complicated in our lives, and end up not living as long as we were ';supposed'; to. Stress complicates our health, no matter what our age group. Change your number, and don't call her. If she approaches ';you'; in person, tell her it's over and walk away, it's THAT simple. Good luck. If I can do it, ';anyone'; can !
let her go, it sounds like you really like her but could you really trust her, i mean shes been with her boyfriend that long and shes cheated on him with you, it really sounds like shes playing you both and your right you really are her back up, im really sorry to tell you this but serious move on theres plenty more fish in the sea! good luck
She is just playing games. You said she cheated on her man with you. If she was to leave her boyfriend, do you really feel you could trust her in a relationship? You deserve better. She don't care about your feelings.
WOW....basically you are the bit on the side and she wants the best of both worlds having her boyfriend and stringing you along at the same time. Thats evil! She knows what she is doing and she obviously doesnt want to end it with her boyfriend so that immediately should tell you to end it with her. If she hasnt left her boyfriend for you by now then she never will. She could genuinely care about you but she is choosing her boyfriend. That is something that you need to understand!!
She has double standards for you coz she wont speak to you if you see other people...but she has a boyfriend??? Cant believe that you actually put up with it.
My advice is to cut all contact with her...change your phone number if you have to. From personal exeperience, it is the only thing that will work. It will be very difficult but you need to focus on other things in your life, your college work and your friends and just forget her completely. It is easier said than done but i guarantee that it will help.
If she is genuine then she will see what she is missing and leave him, but then do you really want to be with someone who can treat her boyfriend that way...if you were boyfriend and girlfriend then she could easily do the same to you!! You deserve better and dont let her convince you otherwise!
hope this helps...good luck!
im sorry, dude. This girl seems like she has to get what she wants, or she'll make every one pay for it. she's having you pick between her and other girls you want to be with. That should instantly tell you that a friend does not do that to another friend. I personally think that you should not see her again, because she's only going to make you feel worse. I know, easier said than done, but you should try your best. And especially when your in college, you have no time for drama. The only way I would ever want to be with someone like her again, is if that she proves to you that she's changed and that she's broken up with her other boyfriend, and that she treats every one else better. When I say proves, I acually mean proves, not just say that she's changed, she acually is. Do what you think you should do though, not me.
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