Monday, August 23, 2010

I need advice..I have been dating this man for 10 months....?

and we have had our share of ups and downs, he has been divorced 2x and has 2 wonderful boys. He works as a corrections officer, and is a full time student as I am. We try very hard to spend what time we can together. But its hard. Friends as everyone knows, tell me that I can do much better. That he does not deserve me. I ignore them of course, because they are on the outside looking in, and only see what they want to see. Well, needless to say, he does find time for his ';friends'; = ladies, well, I have been approached by another man, that has been interested in me, but out of respect to my present man, has kept his distance, but he can't keep his distance anymore because he sees the toll it is taking on me. He wants to show me what a real ';man'; can do. We have had coffee and the conversation was really good. I don't want to hurt either man, but my heart has been hurting for a while, wondering about the present man, and I am tired of the ';drama'; that surrounds him.I need advice..I have been dating this man for 10 months....?
You're just dating the guy - you are perfectly free to do as you please.


I say go see what the other guy is about. Sounds like the first guy has WAY TOO MUCH baggage.I need advice..I have been dating this man for 10 months....?
You're right to be tred of the drama. Consider that the 1st guy has been divorced twice and consider that there is probably a reason for that. And consider that the friends telling you that you can do better are seeing something that you don't see.





Break up with guy #1, THEN begin something with guy #2.
I was married to a corrections officer, He was horrible! Anyway that's besides the point. LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS! They see all and they know all. They see your two's relationship from the outside and they can pick up on things that lovers are blind to. If most of them say let him go, then let him go.
You are the only one that can decide what to do on this. Here is the thing I want you to think about. You are not married to the present man in your life and like you said you are tired of the drama. What would be the harm in taking a break from this present man of yours and seeing what this new man is all about.
If your friends are telling you that you can do better...they're probably right. If you were TRUELY happy, this ';new'; guy, wouldn't even be a consideration. Plus, seeing from the outside looking in, is ALWAYS the best view girlfriend! Do what your heart tells you to do...
Sometimes, it makes sense to listen to what people ';outside looking in'; have to say. They might see something you don't. If you're not sure about the man you're presently dating - keep your options open. You don't have to commit and swear your undying love for him. Explore other options. If there is drama now - it will only get worse in the future; perhaps it would be wise to give this relationship another thought. I would give the other guy a try.
Your friends aren't on the outside looking in, and they don't just see what they want to see. They see your man for who he is, without the clouded judgment that comes from having feelings for him. Thats my theory anyway.





I don't mean to sound flip, but, there's no ring on your finger. And if you want to see other people, break it off with your bf and test the waters with guy #2. Apparently your bf has enough shoulders to cry on, if he does cry, which I doubt.





Good luck
Relationships are best between people who have like interests, like education, like goals, like races, like religions, like politics, and like backgrounds.... and your present gentleman appears not to be very committed to you with other women in the picture.... In your shoes, I'd tell him you two need a break from each other, and seek out the new guy...... In 10 months, you can pretty much figure out how the rest of it might go, and by your statement, it isn't going welll
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If you are ';tired of the ';drama'; that surrounds him'; then go deal with it. And if this new guy turns you on then go and sleep with him. What is the problem here. You are obviously not happy with man #1 one look at what you wrote about him. And although man #2 may not be the best for you it is your choice to do what makes you happy. Don't get me wrong man #1 doesn't sound like a winner either.
You're a single girl- you can date both and make a decision when you have more info. It sounds like your present man is dating around?


If he's been divorced 2X and has kids...that's probably not the ideal relationship for you! You deserve more, go out and find it!
Be up front and honest with your current man. Let him know exactly how you feel, and what will fix this for you. If you do want to see what else is out there. You aren't married, do it. Just let your current man know that you feel that maybe it would be better for you both to see other people. If you take this route, make sure you see more than just this other man, really see what is out there. See who can really shine a ray of light on you and brighten your whole world. To be honest with you, every relationship has ';drama';. It is the unnecessary dama that you can do without.
If the one man has lady friends then its not that serious to him and I would go ahead and persue the other man. There is nothing wrong with dating, how else are you going to find the one who is right for you?
if he has time for the friends and not u that should bring up a big red flag and show u what his priorities really are, also if he has been divorced twice it is something u need to look at also. we always believe he will not treat us as he did the others, but sooner or later it always happens, and when the relationship does end, we seem to hear the same old reasons as we heard about his past relationships. i would tell the present man u need some time to think it all over, and than break up with him, and give the new guy a chance. maybe u need to believe what your friends are saying to u, as it is so hard when we are involved and in love to see anything wrong. as we are so in love we can't see the faults or think about his past relationships, we think we are so different from his ex's but in reality we aren't so different than them.
LADY YOU NEED TO STAR LOVE YOUR SELF AND THAT WAY YOU WILL ATRACCT PEOPLE WHOS REALLY WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AND RESPECT EACH OTHER, AND GIVES LOVE EACH OTHER YOU NEED TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION


HOW MUCH I LOVE MY SELF?


AND HOW MUCH DO I THINK THAT I DESERVE ?


BECAUSE YOU ARE GIVING POWER TO THIS GAY AND THATS WHY HE THINKS THAT HE CAN DO WEREVER HE WANTS


I BEALIVE THAT YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO REALLY HAVE THAT SAME OR MORE THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR....GOOD LUCK...
the truth.


If I was your friend, I would advise you to cut your losses and find the ';right'; man which is not either of these.





best wishes
If he has more time for his friends than you... well, that should tell you alot! ANd if those friends are women, then there is no wonder he has been married 2x already... even if he isn't cheating, the wandering eye is obvious, and will lead to problems if the relationship continues. He isn't considering your feelings as much as you are considering his, so i say leave it as friends and check out the other guy who does want to spent time with you.
Run, don't walk from the divorced man. Trust me, ex's aren't very fun to deal with.





You should give the other guy a chance. It sounds as though you already know what you want to do when you say ';I am tired of the drama that surrounds him.';





Good luck

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