Relationship advice for someone dating a girl with Borderline Personality Disorder. Please.?

I have been dating this girl for a little over a year now. She has BPD. Things weren't so terrible, mostly good, up until about a month or so ago. We get in fights usually everyday and it hurts me a lot. She's always criticizing me and it seems like nothing i do is right. I feel the fights have been coming on because I've decided that if she yells at me for doing something i know there's nothing wrong with, I won't back down. Well the main fights are about me spending time with my friends. She doesn't like any of my friends and feels i should get new ones. I don't really hang out with those people that often in the first place. But, every time I'm even associated with any of them, it blows up into a huge fight. Tonight and yesterday night she basically said she can't take my **** anymore. I just don't know what to do. I love her. I really do. And when things were good, they were great. I just feel so drained lately. Tired of trying. I lack any motivation to fix things. I feel i've been trying for over a year now. Please advice or commentary on the situation would help. Or anyone who is going through or has gone through the same thing.Relationship advice for someone dating a girl with Borderline Personality Disorder. Please.?
This may not be related AT ALL to her having Borderline Personality Disorder, she could just really hate your friends. I would approach your relationship problems from the point of you that you would if she didn't have BPD, at least while you are trying to figure out what action is best for you to take.





People with BPD have a heightened sense of when they are being judged and she can probably sense your emotional de-attachment and it can be making the situation more difficult. Approach her about how you feel, just make sure you phrase things carefully because people with BPD are exceptionally sensitive to rejection.





Let her know you care about her, you love her a great deal, and that you want to work on your situation together, but you need her help and cooperation, and you need her to meet you half way to resolve your problems.





If it IS related to her BPD, it could very well be that after being together for a year, she is serious about being with you, and since borderlines are naturally drawn to self destructive behaviour, she could be trying to sabotage your relationship in order to punish herself. This is even more of a reason that you need to approach her honestly and lovingly about your situation.





To any of the people who are just telling you she's crazy and you should bounce, you know better than that after a year, I'd hope, and kudos to you for sticking around and getting to know her in the first place. Your simply being there means more to people with BPD than you can even imagine. Relationship advice for someone dating a girl with Borderline Personality Disorder. Please.?
ok dude ill try and help


maybe u should hang out with her a little bit more then ur friends im not saying to just get rid of ur friends just hang out with her more and see if it helps.If that doesn't work try to listen to her don't interrupt then whens shes done then give ur side. Ask her what can u improve on that is not so drastic. i hope this helps
I would seek relationship counselling. It's really worth a try. It's something that needs to be fixed together because she may not see what she is doing wrong and may need an outside opinion from a counsellor to set her on the right track.
The best advice for you is back away slowly, change your phone numbers and your locks, your girlfriend has an illness that makes her unable to care how you feel and she will make your life hell and there is nothing she can do about it.
both of you should try emotions anonymous living with a person with any problem is stressful try going to the website then go to a meeting and find help im borderline also and went to meetings for 4 years and im pretty good now
If you LOVE her, truely, you might want to invest in getting her some mental help. There has to be some sort of place that will counsel relationships of this sort.
i'd dump her


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Threaten her boy! Say you'll brake up with her!
Is she on medication? If not maybe she should be.I don't think this is a relationship I would hang onto.I think she uses her illness as an excuse to control you.I would get out if I were you.Ask yourself if you see yourself living like you are for the rest of your life and involve children in the drama.I would say.No thanks.
What you've described is a very unhealthy relationship. Your girlfriend sounds overbearing, manipulative, and uncompromising. She's abusing you--and you're letting her do it. You say, ';she's always criticizing me and it seems like nothing i do is right';, and, ';she doesn't like any of my friends and feels i should get new ones';. Step out of yourself for a minute and take a look at those statements. Does this sound like a person with whom you should be investing your time, energy, and emotions? Life is short. Does she really love you for who you are, or is she toying with you, enjoying the power she has over you?





Bad relationships are similar to substance addictions. Rationally, you know this relation ship is unhealthy. It's bad for you, yet you question whether you can live without her. Like drug dependence, you want to continue using even though you know it's killing you. You ';love her';. Is this true? It's time to start questioning this belief. Get some counseling and see if you can sort out why you are so attached to this person--to the point where you are willing to sacrifice your own dignity and well-being to be with her. This is not love. Your emotions have deceived you. You will NEVER be happy in this relationship, even if there are times when it seems to make you happy. Like a drug addict, you are not capable of seeing your situation clearly--not as long as you remain intoxicated. You need to sober up, i.e., break it off with her, no matter how bad it hurts. Eventually the power she holds over you will be broken.You gotta ';kick the habit';, no matter how bad it feels. Embrace your pain. Cry. You will heal. You will be glad in the end. You will look back and wonder what it was you ever saw in such a beast. Don't allow fear to rule you. You're afraid of letting her go. Ironically, holding on to her is holding on to misery.





Let her go.